In many different roles that we play in life, it can be useful to understand our own tendencies as well as those of others. It can be eye-opening to realize just how differently people can perceive the world. By being able to see things from other people's perspectives, we can better understand why, from their perspective, their actions make sense and are justified. These styles are based on Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies framework, which explains how different people respond to internal and external expectations. There are four distinct styles of self-motivation, which are as follows: - **Upholders** These individuals want to know what is expected of them and will work to meet those expectations. They can get stressed when rules and schedules aren't clear, or when they break a rule. - **Questioners** These individuals want to understand the reasoning behind a proposed action and will only take the action if they feel that it is justified. They are data-driven and naturally curious, always wanting to gather as much information as possible before making a decision. - **Obligers** These individuals respond well to accountability and will work to meet the expectations of others or fulfill their commitments. They may also struggle with self-care, as they're usually focused on taking care of others' needs before their own. - **Rebels** These individuals value their independence and freedom to do things their own way. They may resist rules or expectations that they feel are imposed upon them. They can often be motivated by a sense of self-identity and an attitude of "I'll show them!" They also tend to avoid anything that feels like a trap of commitment. ## **Upholders** - Tend to meet both external and internal expectations easily. - Are self-motivated and can work on projects and meet deadlines without much supervision. - Prefer routine and may have difficulty adjusting to sudden schedule changes or disruptions to their routine. - Are perfectionistic and may become angry or defensive if they are perceived to have made a mistake. - Place a high value on following through with commitments. - May need to be reminded that not everyone is comforted or energized by completing tasks in the same way they are. - May struggle with delegating responsibilities because they may doubt others' reliability. **Stress:** - They feel stressed when rules, expectations, or guidelines are unclear. - They are stressed by sudden changes in plans or routines. - They may become stressed when they perceive that they have failed or made a mistake. **Drive:** - They are driven by a desire to meet both internal and external expectations. - They are driven by a sense of responsibility and duty. - They find motivation in maintaining routines and adhering to plans. ## **Questioners** - Only meet expectations if they believe they are justified and will question all expectations. - Place a high value on reason, research, and information. - Will only follow the advice of "authorities" if they trust their expertise. - Rely on their own judgment, even if it goes against the advice of experts. - May appear uncooperative or defiant due to their persistent questioning. - Dislike anything arbitrary and may resist rules or expectations that they see as unnecessary. - May become frustrated when they are asked to justify their decisions as they believe they have already carefully considered their actions. - May have difficulty delegating decision-making to others because they doubt their reasoning. **Stress:** - They are stressed by what they perceive as illogical rules or requirements. - They become stressed when they feel their questions are not adequately answered. - They may feel stressed when they do not have enough information to make informed decisions. **Drive:** - They are driven by their need to understand the why behind everything. - They are motivated by logical reasoning and rational decision-making. - They find motivation in gathering data, doing research, and understanding the purpose of their actions. ## **Obligers** - Easily meet external expectations but struggle to meet internal expectations. - Place a high value on fulfilling commitments to others and may feel a strong sense of obligation to meet the needs of others. - Thrive with deadlines, oversight, monitoring, and other forms of accountability. - May find it difficult to set limits on the demands of others. - May be taken advantage of by others and may feel resentful as a result. - May have trouble delegating tasks as they feel that some expectations are their personal responsibility. - Need systems of external accountability to help them meet their own inner expectations. **Stress:** - They are stressed by an excessive amount of external demands. - They become stressed when they feel they are letting others down. - They may be stressed by a lack of external accountability for their personal goals. **Drive:** - They are driven by the expectations of others and a desire to meet those expectations. - They are motivated by a sense of obligation and responsibility towards others. - They find motivation in structured environments with clear external expectations. ## **Rebels** - Resist both external and internal expectations. - Place a high value on freedom, choice, identity, and authenticity. - Tend to resist being told what to do and may be easily manipulated through their desire to resist authority. - May act out of love, a sense of purpose, or belief in a cause. - May have difficulty giving themselves direction, even when it is something they want to do. - May enjoy meeting a challenge in their own way and on their own time. - Generally do not respond well to supervision, advice, directions, or routines and schedules. - May suffer in highly regulated environments such as the military, law enforcement, or large corporations. - If in a long-term work or romantic relationship, their partner is likely an Obliger. **Stress:** - They are stressed by restrictions on their freedom and autonomy. - They become stressed when they are told what to do or how to do it. - They may be stressed by schedules, routines, or commitments that feel constraining. **Drive:** - They are driven by their need for freedom and the desire to chart their own path. - They are motivated by a sense of identity, expressing authenticity, and doing things in their own unique way. - They find motivation in challenges and proving others wrong.